My Christmas in Japan

So, Christmas in Japan has come and gone.



I spent Christmas Eve with my boyfriend. He's always late whenever we have plans, so I bugged him for days and days not to be late for Christmas Eve. Ten minutes after he was supposed to leave to come to my apartment, he sent me the usual text message saying, "I'm leaving now!" Then a few seconds later, he knocked on my door. He came early! It was one of the best surprises he's done for me.

We made hotel reservations for a trip to Gifu next week, then we picked up our friend chicken and Christmas cake and ate them while we watched Elf. All in all, it was a really great night.

However, even though I'm here with my boyfriend for the holidays, and even though I hate my family most of the time, I think I would have preferred being at home for Christmas this year. This is because Japan doesn't really care about Christmas, at least not in the same way that the US does, and because spending Christmas with my boyfriend actually meant I spent Christmas Day alone. The boss in his laboratory scheduled cleaning on Christmas.... I did nothing all day, except for a short trip out of the apartment when I mailed a 年賀状 (New Year's card) and bought a few groceries.

I normally ride my bicycle whenever I want to go somewhere, but today I decided to walk to the post office because I didn't think the short trip was worth the effort of untangling my bicycle from the others in the parking area. After walking a block, I was reminded of why I ride my bike everywhere. Same reason I don't like riding the subway: getting stared at. Japanese people don't usually stare at me when I ride my bike, and even if they do, they only have a few seconds to look at me before I'm already gone. Aside from the stares, I really enjoyed the walk because I noticed so many new things about everything around, even though I take the same street to and from school every day. It made me wish I walked more places, but I'm already a self-conscious person without being stared as much as I am.

There are a lot of girls in my classes who have boyfriends that they're separated from while they're studying in Japan. When they hear that I have a boyfriend here, they tell me how lucky I am. I think they sometimes say it out of spite and jealousy, and it makes me mad because they shouldn't make me feel guilty. I deserve to have this time with my boyfriend. Out of the two years he and I have been dating, we've only been together for nine months. I'm sorry other girls have to go through similar separation, but this is my and my boyfriend's time to enjoy.

Like I mentioned above, we have plans to go to Gifu in a couple of days. We'll just be there two days, but I'm still really excited. I need to buy some warmer clothes before we go, though.

Andy Williams is the Background Music of My Christmases

What a productive weekend! Finished my homework, studied Japanese, scrubbed down my entire bathroom, mopped my apartment floor, sewed a couple of things, did laundry and dishes, and still managed to have fun, like watching TV and movies. Tonight might be the first school night in Japan that I get a full eight hours sleep. It's the little things in life, really.

Christmas is coming! I'm starting to miss certain aspects of being home for Christmas, or having Christmas in the US in general, but I'd still much rather be here in Japan. I have a small plastic tree that my boyfriend and I decorated with red and silver ornaments. There are four presents under the tree right now, all for my boyfriend from me. Lucky guy. :P

He and I are trying to make plans for a short trip to Gifu after Christmas and before New Years. I want to see some snow and have a short vacation with him. We're also planning on going to Hokkaido mid-February to celebrate our two-year anniversary, but we'll see what happens. He's been so busy that we haven't been able to make any reservations yet. (God knows I can't make any by myself -- I can't speak enough Japanese, which is frustrating.) So, everywhere may be all booked up before we get a chance to make a reservation. Oh well, things will work out for the best.

I'll be spending New Years with my boyfriend and his parents. When my boyfriend told me we'd be making mochi, I pictured some big, traditional family effort and got excited, but then he told me we'll just be using a machine to make the mochi. Not as exciting.

I'm bringing up my New Years plans, though, to talk about spending time with his parents, who don't speak any English. When I saw them three months ago, they expected me to understand Japanese more than I did, and the more they tried to get me to say something, the further I retreated into my shell. I could understand almost nothing that they said, not only because I was still a beginner, but also because they're rural people that speak in Nagoya-ben and very colloquially and lazily. It was so frustrating to be expected to understand the mush that was coming out of their mouths. What's worse, I felt like they were making fun of me every time I couldn't understand them. My boyfriend says they weren't, but I don't trust him. He's Japanese; he has to be polite. Anyway, I didn't mean for that to turn into the rant that it did. I planned to say that I'm going to work extra hard these next three weeks so I can have a better chance of understanding them. I think my Japanese has improved a lot already since I've been here, but I really want to impress them even if they don't deserve it. (That's the bitterness talking.)

My hands are so cold. I'm making an effort to not turn on my heater unless I need to. This past month, I've been turning on the heater instead of adding more layers, but I just got the electricity bill, and it's more than I care to pay.

I'll leave it at that for now. I'm going to drink something warm and read a book until it's time to sleep. Good night!

Discovered on YouTube, The Wrong Kind

My boyfriend gave me a small poinsettia plant a couple of weeks ago. My family always had fake poinsettias because we had cats and poinsettias are poisonous to cats. So, I don't know how to take care of the flowers, and now they're dying. :\

I really miss my kitchen at my parents' house. Not only is it big, it's fully stocked with any kind of appliance or cooking utensil you might need, and no matter what I felt like cooking, they'd already have most of the ingredients.

I'm having problems again with my boyfriend and friends. Sometimes this exchange student experience is more sad and lonely than high school was, and high school was a nightmare, the most horrible phase of my life.

Four (that I know about) international students in my program have found my YouTube channel. I've had to defend myself ever since they found it. And now I feel like I wouldn't be able to make a video the same way again. I think I will act differently, and I don't want that to happen. If some random person on the internet sees your videos and judges you, it's not a big deal -- it's just one person out of 6½ billion. It's different with someone you know outside of YouTube. I still haven't come up with a good way of explaining my feelings, so the other international students still don't understand, but anyone else who has had their channels discovered by people they know in real life will know what I'm feeling. Can anyone explain it better?

Maybe YouTube is a way I can express more of my honne (true self), whereas, in front of people, I most likely have some form of tatemae (mask) present to follow giri (social obligations) and keep peace somewhat. I don't know.

This is what I'm wondering: where are all the cool, supportive YT people in real life? The fiveawesomegirls channel, for example, has a group of awesome, supportive, loving followers. Where are these people in real life? How come I've yet to meet anyone in real life who like vlogging or watches vloggers or is at least accepting about vlogging? It's not that much of a strange, new, foreign thing. It's been around for years. Why is it still considered so weird IRL?

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/jeannettosaurus

Regret Was Bound to Happen

My classmates have ruined it for me. I don't want to make YouTube videos or write in a public blog anymore. I'm close to deleting my YT account, but I know I'd regret it later. Fuck you guys.

Part of the Ride

Sometimes I take a step outside of my mind and I look at what's happening, and it's strange to think that I'm here in Japan doing what I'm doing. Last night I was in a university dormitory lobby, drinking with dozens of people from all over the world. I played Never Have I Ever with two Austrians, two Germans, one Swede, three Japanese, one Australian, and one other American at four in the morning. Not to be too philosophical, but what an experience.... I imagine what I'd be doing if I had stayed at my home university this year, and what I'm doing right now is just crazy.

I'm having problems dealing with loneliness. I was going through relationship problems with my boyfriend last week, and while I was emotionally numb, I feel like my closest friend here moved on to other friends. She now hangs out a lot with another one of my friends, and I don't seem them much anymore. Now that I'm back to my old self, I feel abandoned. It's difficult.

Richard Gere, My Professor

There's a professor here who looks like a younger Richard Gere. No one else sees it, but they have the same hair color, face shape, and body stature. I've decided to call him ギア先生 (Gere-sensei).

I Love Nagoya Port

I had a really nice, relaxing Saturday. I woke up around 9 or 10 to an invitation via text message to have an apartment-cooked meal with my friends. My boyfriend and I had planned to spend the day together, so when he came over, we both went to the lunch. It was really nice to spend time with both my friends and my boyfriend. And the food was nice.

After lunch, my boyfriend and I went to Nagoya Port just to hang out. When we got there, it was too close to closing time to go to the aquarium, so we just walked around outside, looked at the sea, and saw the different statues and things scattered around the area. We also went to the souvenir shop, where I spent quite a bit of time looking at all the adorable stuffed animals. XP I got a small, round, adorable penguin and an equally adorable penguin cell phone charm for a friend that still didn't have any cell phone charms. There is an adorable beluga whale stuffed animal for ￥1,000 that I'll go back and get some day soon. (Did I say "adorable" enough? Adorable.)

I love Nagoya Port. It was overcast yesterday, so there weren't a lot of people, and it was so relaxing. I want to go back soon. I hope the next time can be as relaxing.

Before we knew it, it was dinner time. I was craving a bacon cheeseburger, so we went to a restaurant one station over from my apartment, and I ate the most amazing burger. The menu was basically all American dishes like tacos and chili fries, so I can imagine I'll be going there often to get a bit of comfort food. I'm so glad I was able to have a bacon cheeseburger. I also had a bottle of Coke. I felt revived. I've been starting to exit the "honeymoon phase" of living in Japan and going into the "I'm not happy here" phase, but being able to retreat into my comfort zone a bit has refreshed my spirit. I'm ready to do my best.

Tomorrow's Monday, which means my Japanese classes finally start. I'm so psyched. Bring it on!

Nice Life, Bad Day

Since the last time I wrote, I have done three of the four things I said I hadn't done in the last post: gotten trash cans, gotten a rice cooker, and gone to karaoke!

The trash cans and rice cooker are godsent -- I never thought about how nice it is to have trash cans for my trash bags, and having a rice cooker means I can make complete meals on my own instead of spending a lot on restaurant meals or pre-cooked rice at the grocery store.

Karaoke was a lot of fun. I went with five other international students that live in the apartment building. We all had average singing voices, lucky for me, except for one Korean guy who blew the rest of us away. But even with my average singing, I still impressed a few people by singing "Linda Linda" by the Blue Hearts for the first song. ;)

I've had a bad day today. I want to talk about it, but it's mostly too personal. Let's just say a bunch of normal problems all happened within one day. I'm having some emotional issues with my boyfriend, a couple of my friends, and some other smaller things that, on any other day, wouldn't be as big of a deal. Let me also say that "Adam's Song" by Blink-182 is not a good song to listen to when you're having a bad day. Having it on repeat is also a bad idea.

Japanese classes finally start on Monday. Bring them on! My Japanese has actually gotten worse since I've been in Japan. I think the only new Japanese I've gained since I've been here is 「着て見てもいいですか？」 I've designated that the most useful Japanese phrase I've learned so far. I have a second and third most useful phrase, but, of course, I can't remember them now I want to write them down.

The typhoon wasn't really a big deal, by the way. It was really windy starting at two or three in the morning. When I woke up at 10am, it was a beautiful day. It was probably the most beautiful day I've ever experienced in Japan so far.

My friends and I thought the typhoon was going to be really bad, so we stayed up together until maybe 4am, watching Disney's Mulan and the first few episodes of Scrubs. I stayed up later than 4am, though, which was unfortunate because the wind got the worst at 5am, and I get really scared and shaky with strong wind. I talked with my boyfriend and friends via text message for a while and eventually fell asleep around 6am.

The best thing that came from the night of the typhoon is that one of my friends, a guy from Germany, is now hooked on Scrubs, and so a few of us sometimes stay up late to watch a few episodes. x)

In other news, I can't figure out how to record videos on my laptop that DON'T have unsynchronized video and sound. UGH.

The First Weeks

I've been in Japan now for nearly three weeks now, and I haven't written a blog. Well, I wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago, but I decided I wouldn't bore you guys with the small details of my first week here. Really, they would bore you.

So, instead of making a long blog catching you up with my life so far, I'd thought I'd utilize one of my favorite scheduling/organizing methods and make a list of things I have and haven't done.

What I have done:

• bought a bike
• bought an electronic dictionary
• registered as an alien resident
• organized my trash to comply with Nagoya's high standards
• visited the local super at least twice a day since I've moved in
• sipped mango juice out of a juice box while soaking my feet in 45 degree C water
• caught a cockroach in a cockroach trap made to look like a house
• become awesome at at using chopsticks
• become awesome at navigating the train and subway systems
• eaten four types of fish all in one meal (even though I hate fish)
• taught a German international student how to do the moonwalk in the middle of an electronics store
• regularly rode my bike to and from campus, a 15 to 20 ride and includes one hill
• seen a parade celebrating the four founders of Japan
  
• been asked twice to exchange information with English-speaking Japanese people who want to make foreigner friends...

Things I haven't done:

• gotten trash cans
• gotten internet in my apartment
• gotten a rice cooker
• gone to karaoke
  

I can't think of other things right now, but there is more, of course.

Classes haven't officially started yet. I mean, they've started, but we haven't registered.... Classes are in a shopping period until Wednesday, and Japanese language classes don't start until the week after next. I'm tired of being in this limbo where I either have too much to do or nothing to do. Today I have no classes, nothing to do all day. I've already done the homework for the classes I've already attended. Imagine that.

Here's something: a typhoon should be here this weekend. Awesome. My boyfriend's coming over to my apartment tonight to make sure the sliding glass doors will hold up if the storm comes here, and we're also going to buy food and water and flash lights.

I don't mean to sound apathetic or upset. It's just that the weather's been cloudy and crappy lately. I love being here. Even with the culture shock starting to develop, I'm glad I'm here.

Douche-Bag Blog

This is why I didn't really want to keep a blog while I was here in Japan. One of the fellow international students here from the US is a complete DOUCHE BAG, and he keeps a blog. I FEAR for the kind of arrogant and judgmental shit he writes on it. Jesus Christ.

One Week to Go!

I received more information about my upcoming year in Japan! Yayyy! I emailed the university and (politely) reminded them that I leave in a week, and they sent me all the information I'd been waiting for. :)

I've been assigned a studio apartment in a building about three kilometers away from campus. I have some issues with the distance (I'm used to living right on campus), but, to be honest, living in a cramped Japanese apartment is a dream I've developed over the past year, and I'm so glad I'll be able to experience it. I'm even looking forward to commuting on a bike... once I get over initial fears of 1) navigating a bike on streets (cars are big and metal and scary!), and 2) navigating a bike on the left side of streets ("OMG, all my knowledge of how to legally move on a street is now backwards!") I also have the option of taking the 地下鉄 (ちかてつ, subway) to school, but right now I'm partial to investing in a 自転車 (じてんしゃ, bicycle). It seems like the price of a bike and occasional maintenance would be a lot less than a year's worth of daily subway tickets.

I want to say more about the apartment, but I'm sure it's just a standard apartment, haha. I can't stop myself from saying this, though: I'll have a TV! I grew up having a TV in my bedroom, but I lost that luxury once I got to college. So, after two years of missing all my favorite shows (except one: LOST), I'm excited to once again have my own TV, even if all but a few of the shows will be in a language I don't understand well. :P

My level of Japanese comprehension is low, but I've made sure to review Japanese this summer. I've actually been studying a lot, so please forgive me while I toot my own horn for a little bit. I've been reviewing vocabulary, grammar, and kanji every day. Unfortunately, my speaking and reading (outloud) abilities have gone downhill, but now I know all but six of the vocabulary words in Genki 1. I know that's nothing to people who have studied Japanese longer, but I've been worried about not testing into the level of Japanese I should be in. Someone who studied abroad last year told me he tested into a class way lower than his actual level. (But I don't know how much he reviewed the summer before he went and if that could have affected his results.)

Speaking of studying Japanese, here's a website recommendation: readthekanji.com. I love the site. It's such a great way to learn and review kanji. They're broken up into the JLPT levels, and it's great motivation to look at your stats and see the number of kanji you know grow. Okay, I'm sure I sounded really nerdy just now....

The Prologue: Twelve Days

I'm sitting here in my parents' house, my home when college isn't in session, and it's twelve days until I leave for Japan. I've been counting down the days since I got home, and my departure has slowly gone from being about sixty-seven days away to twelve. Twelve is a lot smaller than sixty-seven, but the days are still crawling by....

From September 2009 until July 2010, I'll be studying at a university in Nagoya. Even though the school year will end in July, right now my plan is to stay in Japan and work until the end of August so I can get a flight straight to my college at the start of my home university's school year. That way I can save maybe $200-400, by not flying back home for a month and then flying back to college. (Hey, I'm a poor college student. Saving even $200 helps.)

Lately my nights have gone like this. I reread the following portion of an email for maybe the fiftieth time:

Details of your accommodation, including your room
number, will be notified by the beginning of
September.

I look at the calendar to verify that it is the beginning of September, and then I spend the rest of the night refresh my email inbox every half hour or so. (I should also mention there's not a lot do where my parents live.)

I don't know if I'll keep this blog going during my time in Japan. I used to be the kind of person that would spend hours and hours on LiveJournal, typing out entries about the insignificance details of my life. I've slowly been steering away from writing about my life over the past couple of years. That includes my personal journal, too -- I stopped writing in it a little over a year ago. I became embarrassed to write down my feelings, because then I could go back and read how I used to think and see how wrong I was. But this past year didn't go too well (when considering my emotional well-being), and so I thought I'd better start writing again this year, especially since I'll be in a foreign country for so long.

I was also hesitant to even attempt to keep a blog about my trip because I don't want to be another story where the gaijin who knows a smidge of Japanese goes to study in or travel around Japan, says, "Wow, it's so different here," and then goes back home. There are already so many blogs like that out there right now (no offense to them), and I don't think I could bring anything new to the table. Also, my year in Japan isn't just a study abroad experience. This is also my chance to spend time with my long-distance boyfriend. We're planning out our post-grad future together, and right now that future includes living in Japan. So, living in Japan for a year is testing my ability to live in Japan long-term, in a way. It's a chance for me to prepare for my future, I guess. I don't know if what I'll have to say are things people will want to read about. I don't feel comfortable writing about my relationship with my boyfriend, and without that, my blog will probably be white noise against other blogs.

Well, we'll see what happens. :)