Sometimes I take a step outside of my mind and I look at what's happening, and it's strange to think that I'm here in Japan doing what I'm doing. Last night I was in a university dormitory lobby, drinking with dozens of people from all over the world. I played Never Have I Ever with two Austrians, two Germans, one Swede, three Japanese, one Australian, and one other American at four in the morning. Not to be too philosophical, but what an experience.... I imagine what I'd be doing if I had stayed at my home university this year, and what I'm doing right now is just crazy.
I'm having problems dealing with loneliness. I was going through relationship problems with my boyfriend last week, and while I was emotionally numb, I feel like my closest friend here moved on to other friends. She now hangs out a lot with another one of my friends, and I don't seem them much anymore. Now that I'm back to my old self, I feel abandoned. It's difficult.
"I imagine what I'd be doing if I had stayed at my home university this year...".
ReplyDeleteYou probably wouldn't be feeling so lonely, for one thing. (Isn't that a nice, grossly arbitrary guess? Thank you).
My point is that it's much easier to feel abandoned when you're surrounded by so many new people, whose lives you would expect to be a part of. It's as if occasional loneliness were the entrance fee. Hopefully, the new experiences and moments you get in return are worth it.
(Um... I need to get some sleep. If you think none of this makes any sense, I'll probably agree with you in the morning).
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI was searching a song to remember the -te form, so I watch some of your videos and I read your blog.
I am a French student in tokyo since 6 months, I study electronics.
If, one day, you would like to be guided in Akihabara, please ask me, I know (quite) everything in this place!