So, the time has finally come. I'm leaving Japan on Sunday, which is less than four days away as I write this.
I don't really want to leave, but since I have to, I wish I could leave right now. I've just been waiting alone for the departure day to come. I couldn't pack earlier because I still need to use a lot of the stuff I'd pack. And I don't even have the internet to distract me. (I'm posting this later on the school computers.) Over the past three days, I've rewatched an entire season of The Office that I have on my iTunes.
I don't want to leave my boyfriend again.
We spent my freshman year of college together at my university, and then he had to go back to Japan. My sophomore year was horrible. I missed him, and I was frustrated because I didn't know toward what educational or career goals to work, and I inadvertantly started to push away my friends because I was so angry and depressed all the time. I don't want to go back to that year again. I'm scared that when I go back to school next month, sophomore year will happen all over again. I've grown up so incredibly much over this past year in Japan, and now I know what I want to do after I graduate, so I'm hoping I'll be able to make my last year of college great or at least better than sophomore year. But I know it's easy for me to fall into old habits, especially since I'll be at home somewhat.
This year was hard, and, overall, I didn't enjoy it. But I'm glad I did this one-year program, and I don't regret it at all. Like I said, I think I've grown so much as a person. When I look back at myself after I first arrived in Japan, I can't believe how different I am now, in a good way. I think (I hope) I know how to deal with problems better. I can do much more by myself and don't rely on other people to help me as much.
What am I going to miss most about Japan? Subways, trains, and convenience stores. I love the subway and train system here. If I want to go somewhere, I just take a train and I'm there. It's so convenient! My school in the US is in a very small town far away from the city, and I don't have a car at school, so it's impossible to go anywhere or do anything without relying on the buses, which are infrequent and only go a few places. I would be so set if we had a train and subway system!
As for convenience stores, they're stocked with so many good drinks and snacks and cheap meals. I love the food and drinks in Japanese convenience stores! And they're EVERYwhere.
I need to get back to work (packing, cleaning, and the like).
